How to Look Cute in a Polar Vortex

by Clara Butler

Tired of feeling self-conscious on College Walk? Or just trying to downplay your horrendously runny nose? Try out these tips that will keep you stylish and warm all winter long.

Hey, he’s warmer than you are.

Embrace your marshmallow self. If the Michelin man can do it, you can too! And really, who doesn’t look absolutely adorable in a shapeless down coat? Whether it hits at your hips or down to your ankles, puffy coats are the way to any person’s, or snowman’s, heart. Extra points if your coat resembles a sleeping bag more than an actual human body.

THE look for this winter – it protects you from the cold and the flu!

Scarves, scarves, and more scarves! Step one, put on a scarf. Step two, put on another scarf. Repeat until your entire face is suffocating in faux-cashmere luxury or you look like a head wound patient that was just released from the hospital. If you are a lonely human being like me that values Netflix more than actual friendship, now is a perfect time to take up knitting to help with the layering.

Paul Bunyan is your new fashion icon.

Lumberjack boots are a MUST. The boots that are guaranteed to protect your feet from frostbite are the ones that look as though they belong to your boyfriend/brother/uncle that owns a farm somewhere in Wisconsin. Not only does khaki match everything, but these boots will ensure that you can glare at that girl wearing cute high-heeled boots while you both sludge through the black snow that accumulates on Broadway.

You’re so witty.

Make a statement with hats. Whether you’re going for more of a Holden Caulfield look or trying to channel Spinelli from Recess, hats are the most-likely-to-be-seen accessory on your person this winter. My only tip is that your hat should have the most ridiculous word on the front, preferably one that imitates the Céline logo.

Because we’re all perpetually six years old.

Gloves are hand warmers AND hand transformers. If you’re like me and tired of your hands looking so boring all the time, use the winter to experiment with other hand shapes! Think about it, your hands could be claws, paws, or even hooves if you so please. Or you could just wear these really cool dinosaur gloves and make everyone on the street think you’re crazy by pretending it’s your best friend and having conversations with it.

If you followed these glamorous tips, you are well on your way to becoming the envy of all your peers. Or just warm. Yeah, warm is the only thing I can guarantee.

Clara Butler is a sophomore at Barnard and a staff writer for The Nine Ways of Knowing.

Images courtesy of I New Idea,, ThinkQuest, REVOLVE clothing, and Flickr.


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