Dear Diana: Unvisited Friend

Dear Diana,

One of my really good friends from high school attends a different college and it is has been a bit hard keeping in touch. I went to visit her last semester but she has yet to visit me. She keeps promising me that she will come visit me this semester since she has no Friday classes, but she still hasn’t made any plans. I’m a little concerned about this because I really want to show her my life here at college but she keeps avoiding the issue.  Do you think I should take it personally? What’s her deal?

Dear Unvisited,
You have to remember that college is a very busy time. We get caught up with our new friends and our endless amount of schoolwork and ultimately spend less and less time keeping in touch with our old friends. This, however, does not mean we like our old friends any less. You are used to naturally seeing your friend every day, which is hard now that you are at separate colleges. Now, you actually have to put an effort into your friendship, which can be very draining and emotional.
That being said, I would advise you to set a specific weekend for your friend to come visit you. This way you will have a set time that she can work into her busy college schedule. If you set it well enough in advance, she will most likely not already have plans and can plan accordingly. The hardest part is choosing a time to come so if you choose or suggest a weekend for her, it will be that much easier for her to come visit you.
You don’t say where your friend goes to school. It’s quite possible that there are financial or other constraints making it difficult for her to visit you. This could be why she isn’t making definite plans. If you two still talk frequently and make the effort to spend time together when you’re both home, you have little reason to be concerned.
However, if she still avoids the subject and you are talking to each other less, then there actually may be something wrong and you should speak to her about it. Ask her if you did something to offend her and explain to her how much you miss her and value her friendship. I wouldn’t worry though. I am sure it is just the issue of a hectic college schedule. Good Luck Unvisited!

6 thoughts on “Dear Diana: Unvisited Friend

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